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About Varied / Hobbyist Member Pedigri28/Male/Poland Group :iconartistshospital: #ArtistsHospital
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~Pedigri
Industrial Antipaladin Pedigri
Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
Poland
"I am thy empire", spectrally whispers the Antipaladin as you approach him, what means in a language long dormant: "Please, tell me, how may I be of service?"

If you happen to seek the ageless counsel of an astrologer, the intuitive wisdom of a numerologist, or a soothing embrace for your spirit and mind, then you have come to the right place, and your pouch won't miss a gold piece, for I am the guardian seeking redemption by leading you through oceans of thorned labirynths until you find your way in life. Fear not, for I always leave paths to choose from instead of showing you the only way...

I am forever thyne.

Current Residence: "I am forever thyne".
deviantWEAR sizing preference: Medium
Print preference: Glossy poster
Favourite genre of music: Industrial, Industrial/Electronica, EBM, Industrial-Metal, Power metal, Celtic, Neo-Classical, Anime
Favourite photographer: Well, I like the ancient ones:D
Favourite style of art: Abstract, fantasy, surreal, dark, photomanips, traditional, anime, animations, landscape photos
Operating System: Windows XPerienced.
MP3 player of choice: Winamp rocks the docks
Shell of choice: Shell? A toilet shell? A shotguns shell? If so, I like FN P90 TR and FN Minimi shells...
Wallpaper of choice: Konoko, Jade, Nightelves, Cats, Sunsets, Sunrises, Forest and Waterscapes... I collect wallpapers...
Skin of choice: Tanned...
Favourite cartoon character: SWAT Kats: The Radical Squadron, Soul Hunter, Slayers, Record of Loddoss War etc.
Personal Quote: Reality is only for people without imagination
Interests
Though I was skeptical at first, I did the exercises, I wrote the morning pages she recommended, I emptied my thoughts, took the courage to write down painful, difficult memories and thoughts etc. and I suddenly started to feel joy in spontaneous, imperfect drawing. I no longer resist trying new techniques and mediums, I don't postpone it as much, I don't aim for perfection on the first try any longer, I don't care about "wasting time" on art like I used to think.
The synchronicity she was talking about really occured. Strange things happened - I found dreams, desires, urges I didn't know I have... for example, I started to dream of practicing playing a regular guitar (though my fav is an electric guitar. I also like cello, violin, piano, flute and the like) and the urge to play is so strong I might even get myself a used one.

Time will tell if I also overcome my habit of not finishing my works. But I think that now I don't care whether it's perfectly perfect or not, I might as well do it and have fun while doing it. I no longer care about external rewards like popularity or pageviews or fame or whatever. And I thought external rewards irreversibly destroyed my ability to enjoy the process of drawing.

I highly recommend reading this book. It didn't shoot the author into fame without a reason. The book is really, really good. You just have to trust that some of the strange things she suggests doing come from her years and years of experience.

Best wishes.

If you liked the book, please make sure as many people will find out about it as possible.

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Comments


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:iconteano:
Happy birthday!
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:iconpedigri:
~Pedigri 2 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you very much:)
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:iconagentburn:
~AgentBurn 2 days ago  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Happy birthday! :cake:
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:iconpedigri:
~Pedigri 2 days ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks so much:)
Reply
:iconseraphimkid:
*SeraphimKid Mar 19, 2013  Professional General Artist
Thank you for the critique and favorite :) It was most appreciated and needed.
Reply
:iconpedigri:
~Pedigri Mar 19, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
And you are most welcome:)
Reply
:icontristancody:
*TristanCody Mar 18, 2013  Student Writer
Thank you for the comments and notions. I appreciate it a lot.
Reply
:iconpedigri:
~Pedigri Mar 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
You're welcome:)
Reply
:iconteano:
I wanted to comment on your remark that you thought you were 'socially awkward', but forgot. I don't think you are. We're talking, aren't we? Because of the amount of jackasses in this world, what they call 'socially awkward' is actually just normal, civilized human behaviour, which the jackasses see as something of the past, something to revolt against. I've noticed that people who are considered 'socially awkward' by 'the great majority' (the dumb majority, as I call them) are often simply kind, considerate, understanding and well-mannered people, all things I find 'socially acceptable' and even 'socially expected', and you're no exception. Personally, I find those who judge others within seconds of seeing them based on their skewed worldview and perception which is fed to them through television and other media and don't follow the rules of proper human interaction (and thus, often being downright rude and simply difficult to approach) socially awkward... and there's a lot of those jackasses around. It's possible to dislike someone, but there's good and not so good reasons to do so.
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:iconpedigri:
~Pedigri Feb 13, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
While I am one of those nice guys, considerate of others to a fault, I must add that social phobia is not the same as sheer shyness or some low self-esteem. Social phobia includes things like hesitating and feeling uneasy when eating in public, feeling uneasy in crowds (especially when the strangers might look at you - it was a nightmare in my first year of highschool. I also went inside when a group of young students on tour went past my house so as to avoide them looking at me). It includes being in one room with a larger number of people. The symptoms are listed here in this Liebowitz test measuring social phobia/anxiety.

[link]

Also I have a form of paranoia that makes me think that new people I meet will hurt me in some way, that I have such a bad luck for meeting people that I'll get to know abusers, manipulators, deceivers, cons, thiefs before I meet someone normal. It's absurd, I know. When meeting employers I think they're bullies, cheats, drama kings and queens, bad-tempered people, etc. Some call it making too many assumptions, but if it only was that easy to fight as making false assumptions.

Sure, we talk, because it's generally easy for me to talk online. I feel safer, I have time to compose my thoughts. Even though I can write properly, know grammar, my verbal messages are a mess. I guess I'm too self-conscious. But it's also reflected by my chaotic Neptune in the third sector of communication (chaos + verbal communication).

But you're right about the jacka$$es. The jacks are more prone to consider their own traits as normal and laugh at those who they see as "weak" and "sucker-ish".
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